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Last Updated: Tuesday, December 07, 2004 04:09:11 PM 

Canadian Corruption
Sexual Abuse & Political & Legal Conspiracy. RCMP Incompetence & Cover up.
Priors Of Grand Bank NFLD Canada
- from http://maxpages.com/sexualabuse

Page 4


 


T. Alexander Hickman



She ran as fast as she could, always watching behind her, afraid there would be some big, bad monster running after her. She had many nightmares about monsters grabbing her and doing horrendous things to her. She would wake up in the middle of the night, screaming and crying, never to find solace in the warmth of a mother's arms. Hardly ever would her brothers and sisters hear her. They would sleep silently, oblivious to the screams that they had all gotten so used to over the course of their young lives. She would silently cry herself back to sleep, after what seemed an eternity of deafening silence. "Why doesn't anyone ever hear me? Why doesn't anyone love me?", she would scream in her mind. She lived in a house full of people, yet she felt so alone, so lost, so abandoned. She glanced down at the little Mickey Mouse watch on her arm, she had two minutes to make it inside the house. Her little heart felt as if it was beating out of her chest as she ran. She finally made it to the gate and as she was about to turn into it, she was running so fast that she caught her sweater on the fencepost. She fumbled frantically to release the sweater, and in her panic, she ripped the pocket. She knew her mother would be exacerbated! "I've got to get into the house before she comes looking for me with the belt", she thought to herself.

As she opened the porch door, her mother was there to meet her. "You made it on time, I see", she huffed to the little girl. "Go get ready for bed and put your clothes in the hamper. You always look so dirty. You're useless; you can never keep yourself clean". The little girl did as she was told and crawled into bed. She had escaped the rath of her mother for a few hours, but she knew what was in store for her when her mother found out about her torn sweater. She, as many nights before, cried herself to sleep dreading the reckoning that awaited her the following day, and the horrible nightmares that she was positive she would awaken from that night. She awaken to the sound of her mother's voice echoing throughout the house. "Get down here you lazy tramp", the mother yelped, as the little girl desended from the stairway. "Go out and get some coal for the stove, and hurry. You've got to help get the others get ready for school." Donna pulled on her boots, grabbed the old coal bucket and shovel and headed for the coal house.

It was very cold outside this morning, as it usually was in Newfoundland at this time of year. Her little body was shaking as she bent down to shovel the coal into the bucket. Her father would be home tomorrow and all she could think about was how happy she would be to see him again. Her father was a sea captain and spent most of his life away from home. She loved her daddy so much, and she always wished he would leave her mother and take her away with him. Once her parents had a huge arguement about her mother seeing other men, and her mother had asked the children who would they go with if she and their father split up. Most of the children were afraid to say anything, but Byron spoke right up and said that he and Donna were going to go with his Dad. Her mother punished them by never letting them kiss their father or tell their father they loved him "as long as you live in my house", she brutually told them. Mother knew that this would be the greatest punishment for the children. Byron was a stubborn boy, though, and as soon as he saw his father's ship approaching the wharf, he would go down to meet his father. Sometimes, he would take Donna with him, if he felt it was a safe bet that his mother wouldn't find out. This afternoon was one of those times.

Their mother was going to buy groceries, and another sister had to babysit, so they would both be free to go meet their Dad. She could hardly contain herself. It would take all she had in her to concentrate on her schoolwork that day. Oops, she was so preoccupied with thoughts of the forthcoming meeting with her father that she hadn't yet filled the coal bucket, and her mother was yelling at her from the doorway. "I'd better get this bucket full and get it in the house before she grounds me, and I cannot go meet Daddy this afternoon", she thought to herself. Donna hurried as fast as she could, and was in the house before her mother was too pissed off at her. "I'm safe this time", she thought. Byron was standing at the sink in the kitchen, getting ready for school. As Donna turned to face him, a faint smile crossed both of their faces. She knew he was relieved that she hadn't gotten herself into trouble again, not today of all days. Finally at 3:30 p.m., the schoolbell rang, and all the children hurriedly exited their classrooms.

As Donna ran down the long corridor of the Salvation Army elementary school, she ran smack into her brother, Byron. "Come on, we haven't got much time before the boat comes in", he remarked, as he took her hand, and they ran out of the school and towards the harbour. Just as they reached the wharf, they could see their father's ship rounding the bend towards the docking area. They would stand on the rocks behind Buffetts storage shed and watch the ship come in. Even if their mother had to go uptown for something, she would never see them there. They had hidden there many time before, and they knew they were safely out of her eye range. As the ship pulled closer to the shore, they saw their father standing at the wheel in the wheel house. They started to jump up and down,waving their arms to make sure their father could see them. He spotted them just as he turned into the docking area. He was as excited to see them as they were to see him. He pulled the whistle cord and blew the ship's whistle three times, waved at the children, and smiled lovingly at them. As soon as the gangplank was emboldened, their father waved them onboard. It was, as many times before, a joyous occasion for all of them. Captain Randell quickly whisked them away to his room. They all were excited to see one another. They talked about his trip, they laughed, and they talked some more. Naturally, Daddy asked Donna to sing him a little song, as he always did. Byron, Daddy, and Donna all danced around the room and acted silly like they always did. They all enjoyed the precious time they spent together.

Soon, it would be time to leave the ship and go back to the house. They would all look for forloarn when they realized that time was close at hand. "You're birthday is coming soon", Daddy said, looking at Donna. "What would you like for your birthday?" her asked her. "I want a guitar", Donna stated matter of factly. "What are you going to do with a guitar?" her father asked. "You don't even know how to play one", he joked with her. "I know I don't know how to play, but Byron does, and he can teach me", she answered back. "You don't expect Byron to take time to teach a silly girl to play the guitar, do you?" he said laughingly. "Sure, Dad, I'll teach her to play if she wants me to", Byron joined in. "Okay, then, a guitar it is", he said as he smiled at the both of them. Then a strange look came over his face, a very sad look, as he realized that their mother would never allow him to give Donna such an expensive gift. He became very calm and spoke to the children. "If I get you the guitar, you have to leave it here in my room, and you can never tell your mother that you have it. I don't even know if she'll let me have enough money to get it, but I'll try my best, I promise", he stated, as he bent down to kiss the little girl.

Donna knew, in her heart, that if there was any way that her father could get her the guitar, he would. She smiled back at her Daddy, knowing full well, that her mother would never let him have enough money; but, at least, even his saying he would, assured her that he truly loved her. Besides, she could always pretend that he got her the guitar, even if she had to wait until she grew up and bought it herself, she would always say that her Daddy got it for her. As the children said their goodbyes to their father, he hugged and kissed them both. Both of the children waved to their father as they began the walk back home. They had to be at the house before their mother got back from grocery shopping so that she wouldn't suspect that they had sneaked down to see their father. If she knew, she would beat them with the braided rope that she always kept by her side. She had told Byron that it was all right for him to go on the wharf, but little girls should never go there; and any female that did was just a whore. Their mother was not at home when the children arrived there. Their sister was all excited when they got in the door. "Daddy's boat is in", she exclaimed, not aware that the children had already been to see him. "They're unloading the boat right now, and he should be home soon". Donna wished that she could share her secret with her sister, but she was very careful not to do so. Byron had made her promise that she would never tell anyone that he took her to the boat to see their Dad. Besides, sometimes their sister would get angry with her and rat all of the secrets she knew of to their mother. Donna knew that their sister only did that because, like her, she was starved for any kind of affection from her mother, and when she would rat on the others, she would be her mother's "favorite for the day". That's how it always was. Their mother would pit one child against the other until she found some reason to lay a beating on one of them.


The three children got their chores done as fast as they could. Their sister started supper, Donna set the table, and Byron brought in some wood for the stove. Both girls made sure that the younger children were in clean clothes, and the babies had clean diapers on. Their mother had trained them to have everything done exactly to her specifications. They felt pleased with themsleves as they each finished their chores. Maybe their mother would be in a good mood today. She usually was when Daddy docked because she knew he would always bring her money. She worshipped money. It was the only thing that put her in a good mood. The children were very aware of that. Nothing in the world was as important to their mother as money! It was nearly supper time when their father walked in the door. He gave each of them a big kiss and a hug. Although he had already spent some time with Byron and Donna, he was careful to greet them exactly as the others. He too, valued the times they shared in his room at the boat, and he didn't want to jeopardize the times they would share in the future. Both the children and their father knew they had to get all of their hugs and kisses in before their mother came home. He knew what hardship it would be for the children if she saw any of them kiss or hug their father. They all knew that they were at her mercy. They never dared cross her or go against anything she had dictated to them.

Captain Randell was sitting at the kitchen table when his wife walked in. "I saw your boat in the harbour when I was on my way down from Buffet's, where's your cheque?" As usual, she got it all out in one breath, never ever thinking to ask how his trip had gone, or how he was feeling. The children all stared at each other, wondering how this big, strong man was just as afraid of her as they were. She had no respect for him what-so-ever! The children had seen her throw hot tea over him, lock him outside of his own home in the dead of winter, chase him with knives, beat him with the same braided nylon rope that she had beaten them with, and threaten him with taking the children away somewhere where he would never see them again. It was very evident, the fear that the children could see in his face, every time she screamed at him. He was a good man, very loving and kind to all those he met. He never had a harsh word for anyone, but this woman he had married had reduced him to obeying her like a trained animal. Whenever she'd verbally, or physically, abuse him, he never spoke back to her or ever raised a hand to hit her back. He, like the children, was someTHING she OWNED, and no one was ever going to tell her what to do with something that was hers'. Obediently, Captain Randell immediately handed her over his cheque. The cheque was for ten dollars more than he usually got, so he knew that his wife would be pleased. She grabbed the cheque from his hands, and when she looked at it, she smiled that sinister smile of hers. When both Captain Randell and the children saw her smile, they all knew they would be safe for another few hours. Harriett went into the bedroom and called Captain Randell to come into the room with her. Donna looked at Byron and asked, "How come every time someone gives her money, she takes them to her bedroom with her? Whatever she does in that room sure keeps the men coming back with lots of money for her."

Donna was very confused as to what her mother's bedroom had to do with money. Byron looked at his little sister with an impish smile and took her by the hand. "Come on. I'll show you why the men give her money", he giggled, as he led her out to the porch. Byron made sure the door was closed securely behind her. "Be quiet, don't make a sound or she'll hear you, and if she ever finds out that we know, she'll kill us", Byron warned his sister. "There's the stool. Bring it over here", he whispered. "See that hole in the wall? He questioned. Donna shook her head yes, careful not to speak in case her mother might hear. "Get up on the stool, and look in through the hole", he told her. Donna did as she was instructed. "What do you see?" Byron asked. "Daddy is on top of mom with no clothes on, and he's moving up and down. Mom is just laying there with her legs open. Daddy's making funny noises. What are they doing, Byron?" the little girl asked her brother. "They're having sex. That's what all the men do when they come here and give mom money. I watch through this hole sometimes", Byron answered with that famous grin of his. "Come on, Donna, we'd better get out of here before someone catches us." As Byron was about to open the door to the kitchen, Donna grabbed his arm. "Mom told us that sex was dirty and that we were never to mention it. If it's so dirty, how come she does it with all those men, and even Daddy!" she asked in bewilderment. "That's what all grownups do, but they're only suppose to do it with the people they're married to.

That's why she does it with Daddy; but, she does it with the other men for the money they give her", he stated matter of factly. "If she's only suppose to do that with Daddy, but she does it with other men, isn't that wrong?" she asked her brother. "Yes, it's wrong, but you know mom, she doesn't care if it's wrong or not", he asnwered, as he began to open the kitchen door. "Let's get inside. They'll soon be coming out of the bedroom", he stated a little louder to his sister. "Don't let anyone know what you saw because if you do, we're going to get into a lot of trouble", he warned his little sister, as they entered the kitchen. Their sister had just finished putting supper on the table when the two children closed the door behind them. They had been in the kitchen for a couple of minutes when their parents walked in. Byron gave Donna a quick glance, and his expression warned her once more, not to say anything. Both children sat at the table and ate their supper as quietly as they always did. Not a word was spoken. As everyone ate, the silence in the kitchen was almost deafening.

No one ever spoke at the dinner table, if you did, you would be taking the chance of having hot tea thrown at you, or whatever Harriett decided was the proper punishment at the time, and the punishment was never slight. "Children are to be seen and not heard", their mother had very clearly made that fact known to them. Donna sat at the table thinking how different it was at Aunt Jessie's house and Aunt Melinda's houses during meal times. She always had a great time at both of their houses. Aunt Jessie always made it an enjoyable time for her children, and for Donna. Donna knew that if she ever needed a place to run, she could always count on Aunt Jessie, any many times in the past, she had. Aunt Jessie was very different that her own mother. How Donna wished her mother was more like her aunt. As Donna thought of her Aunt Melinda's house, you could see the twinkle in her eyes. Aunt Melinda was her father's sister, and a great mother to her two sons. Like Aunt Jessie, Aunt Melinda had been widowed at a very young age, and neither of them had ever remarried. Mealtime was always a joy there. They would all sit around the table and tell each other about their adventures of the day. "Oh why couldn't it be more like Aunt Jessie's or Aunt Melinda's house", Donna thought to herself. No sooner had the thought crossed her mind, when her mother hollered at her. "Duck", she yelled, "Get out of that crazy world of yours and eat your supper! You're always out in space somewhere, hurry up, the dishes have to be done before you get at those books you love so much!

I don't care what Mr. Noseworthy tells you, you'll never by anything! You're always off in that crazy mind of yours making up stories! Do you really think anyone is going to pay good money to read that junk when you grow up! You'll end up down the fish plant like the rest of the losers in this town! As soon as you're old enough, you're going to work down the plant! Don't think you're ever going to university, or even finish high school, you're going down the fish plant! You hear me, you quack! You're nothing now, and you'll never be nothing! Get away from the table, and get the dishes done!" As the little girl hung her head, she quietly got up from the table and helped her sister get the dishes done. As the two girls did the dishes, quietly as mice, they sang the little songs they had learnt at Sunday school. Both of the girls had beautiful singing voices, the one good thing they had inheritated from their mother.

 
When their mother was in a foul mood with them, singing was the girls way of soothing their wounded hearts. As one washed the dishes, the other dried, always careful not to be heard; however, when they're mother was away from the house, they would sing their little hearts out, as loud as they could. Despite the tension their mother would create by pitting the children, one against the other; there were times when they were all grateful to have the companionship of the others. Neither of the children had many friends and without each other, sometimes, life would have been unbearable for them. None of the children were allowed to stay after school for extra curricular activities; they were all to come directly home after their classes were finished for the day. Their mother would leave the housework for them to do after school, and then they would have to get supper on the table by 5:00 p.m. The children had no time to play; no time to just be children. There were always too many responsibilities for them; responsibilities that they shouldn't of had at such a tender age. When other children were busy playing outside, they were busy working their little fingers to the bone, scrubbing the floors, washing dishes, changing diapers, and making up the beds. They never had to hang the laundry on the line though. That difficult task was left to their mother. The clothes line was outside, so even if the girls had to scrub the clothes on the washboard, their mother would always to outside to hang it. She had to make a good impression on the neighbours. The only time their mother would let them hang the clothes on the line was when it was too cold for her to go outside, or if she had a man over, and wanted the children out of the house.

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|| Continued: | Page 1 | Page 2 | Page 3 | Page 4 | Page 5 | Page 6 | Page 7 ||

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Editor's note: T. Alex Hickman is also a member of the Order of Canada, and a past GRAND MASTER of all Newfoundland Freemasons. He is also a member of the St. John's, Masonic Temple Group. Wes Penre

 

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